| A woman's random thoughts! | |
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Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, "You know sometimes I just forget to eat." Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys. But I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of idiot to forget to eat! A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she doesn't really care. They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn't all that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said, "Body, how'd you like to... [More] Comments: 0 Avg. rate: 5.4262/10 Rate It: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (Great!) |
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| Alot Alike | |
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Q: Why are tornadoes and marriage alike? A: They both start with a lot of blowing and sucking, but in the end you always lose your house. [Details] Comments: 0 Avg. rate: 5.3848/10 Rate It: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (Great!) |
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| At the store. | |
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Your so stupid, you got locked in a grocery store and starved!! [Details] Comments: 0 Avg. rate: 5.3280/10 Rate It: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (Great!) |
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| Bad Breath | |
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You're breath's so stinky I don't know whether I should give you a breath mint or toiletpaper! [Details] Comments: 0 Avg. rate: 5.4629/10 Rate It: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (Great!) |
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| Blowing Bubbles | |
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Is that your head or is your neck blowing a bubble? [Details] Comments: 0 Avg. rate: 5.5207/10 Rate It: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (Great!) |
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| Cremate Mother In Law | |
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A person receives a telegram informing about his mother-in-law's death. It also enquires him whether she should be buried or cremated. He replies, "Don't take chances. Burn the body and bury the ashes!" [Details] Comments: 0 Avg. rate: 5.5456/10 Rate It: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (Great!) |
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| Depressed Over Mother In Law | |
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Why Steve, you're so depressed today, what's the matter? Ah, well, I have had a quarrel with my mother-in-law. She swore to me she wouldn't talk to me for a month!! Then so bad about it? You should celebrate the event!! No, no, see...that was four weeks ago, and today is the last day... [Details] Comments: 0 Avg. rate: 5.5128/10 Rate It: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (Great!) |
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| Discipline | |
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Let a pig and a boy have everything they want, and you'll get a good pig and a bad boy. [Details] Comments: 0 Avg. rate: 5.4324/10 Rate It: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (Great!) |
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| Docs Go To Heaven | |
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Three doctors died and went to the Pearly Gates to be interviewed to see where they would end up. St. Peter asked the first one what he did on earth, and he said he was an obstetrician. St. Peter asked what an obstetrician did and the doc told him. "Sounds pretty good; okay you can go in to Heaven." The second doc said he was a pediatrician and had to explain what that involved. St. Peter said, "Sounds very useful, very good--you can go in too." The third doc said he was the chief man in charge of a whole HMO conglomerate. "Well,... [More] Comments: 0 Avg. rate: 5.4673/10 Rate It: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (Great!) |
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| FBI-CIA-LAPD!!! | |
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The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist. The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and... [More] Comments: 0 Avg. rate: 5.4836/10 Rate It: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (Great!) |
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