| 10 Commandments of a Teenager | |
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1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping. (why wait that long) 2) Thou shall not do drugs. (alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.) 3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart. (Walmart has a bigger selection) 4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism. (destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this) 5) Thou shall not steal from your parents. (everyone knows grandma has more money) 6) Thou shall not get into fights. (Cat fight anyhow...just start them.) 7) Thou shall not skip class.... [More] Comments: 0 Avg. rate: 4.5122/10 Rate It: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (Great!) |
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| A future fireman | |
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A fireman looked out of the fire house window and noticed a little boy playing on the sidewalk. He had his little red wagon, and he had hung small ladders on the side of it, and coiled the garden hose up in it, and he was wearing a fireman's hat. He had the wagon tied to his dog, so that the dog could pull the wagon. The fireman thought this was really cute so he went out and told the little boy what a great looking fire truck he had. As he did, he noticed that the dog was tied to the wagon by his testicles. The fireman said, "Son, I... [More] Comments: 0 Avg. rate: 4.5404/10 Rate It: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (Great!) |
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| A new car | |
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One day a mother and father were having sex and their son walked in. "What are you doing, the kid asked". Well, you wanted a brother, so we're making you one. The next day, the father walks outside and sees his son porking away on the family junker's tailpipe. "Son...what the hell are you doing!!!" And the son replied - "Mom said she wanted an new car, so I'm making her one!" [Details] Comments: 0 Avg. rate: 4.5303/10 Rate It: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (Great!) |
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| A Present for Little Johnny! | |
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Little Johnny had a cussing problem and his father was getting tired of it. He decided to ask his shrink what to do. The shrink said that, since Christmas was coming up that he should ask Johnny what he wanted Santa to bring him. If he cussed, he should leave a pile of dog shit in place of the gift. Two days before Christmas, Johnny's dad asked Johnny what he wanted. Johnny said, "I want a goddamned teddy-bear laying right fuckin here beside me when I wake-up Christmas morning. Then, when I go downstairs I want to see a motherfuckin'... [More] Comments: 0 Avg. rate: 5.3979/10 Rate It: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (Great!) |
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| After Christmas Letter. (Warning: CRUDE) | |
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December 26, 1999 Dear Santa, You must be surprised that I'm writing to you today, the 26th of December. Well I would very much like to clear up certain things that have occurred since the beginning of the month, when, filled with illusion, I wrote you my letter. I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of roller blades, and a football uniform. I destroyed my brain studying the whole year. Not only was I the first in my class, but I had the best grades in the whole school. I'm not going to lie to you, there was no one... [More] Comments: 0 Avg. rate: 5.5029/10 Rate It: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (Great!) |
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| Answer This Question | |
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One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will ask a question to the class and anyone who answers correctly doesn't have to go to school the following Monday. On the first Friday, the teacher asks, "How many grains of sand are in the beach?" Needless to say, no one could answer. The following Friday, the teacher asks the class, "How many stars are in the sky?" and again no one could answer. Frustrated, little Johnny decides that the next Friday, he would somehow answer the... [More] Comments: 0 Avg. rate: 5.5129/10 Rate It: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (Great!) |
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| Banned Children's Books | |
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Dad's New Wife Timothy Pop! Goes the Hamster...and Other Great Microwave Games How to Become the Dominant Military Power In Your Elementary School Safe Sex and the Zip-Lock Bag Testing Homemade Parachutes With Nothing At All But Your Household Pets Egghead - and Other Things Mrs. Dumpty Gave Humpty The Complete Set Of "Mother Got Goosed" Nursery Rhymes Peter Rabbit's Frisky Adventures The Hardy Boys, the Barbie Twins, and the Vice Squad The Tickling Babysitter Babar Meets the Taxidermist Controlling the Playground: Respect Through... [More] Comments: 0 Avg. rate: 4.4662/10 Rate It: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (Great!) |
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| Body parts | |
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Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. On this particular day, the teacher wanted to ask her class which part of the body went to heaven first. One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think your mind goes to heaven first because you have to have a mind in order to believe in God. The teacher praises the little girl, as a little boy raised his hand. The little boy says, "I think your heart goes to heaven first because God is all about love. "Very good" said the teacher. The teacher looked up and saw Little Johnny's hand... [More] Comments: 0 Avg. rate: 5.5488/10 Rate It: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (Great!) |
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| Buckwheat and Darla | |
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Buckwheat & Darla were in school, and the teacher asks Darla "How do you spell 'dumb'?" Darla says "d-u-m-b, dumb". The teacher says, "very good, now use it in a sentence." She says "Buckwheat is dumb" Now spell "stupid". Darla says "s-t-u-p-i-d, stupid". The teacher says,"very good, now use it in a sentence." Darla says "Buckwheat is stupid." Then the teacher calls on Buckwheat and says "Buckwheat, spell dictate." Buckwheat stands and says "d-i-c-t-a-t-e, dictate". The teacher says, "very good, now use it in a sentence."... [More] Comments: 0 Avg. rate: 5.5498/10 Rate It: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (Great!) |
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| Burlesque Show | |
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The kid ran out of the burlesque show. The doorman grabbed him and asked what is the matter. The kid said, "My Mama told me if I looked at anything bad I'd turn to stone.... and I can feel it starting!" [Details] Comments: 0 Avg. rate: 5.4207/10 Rate It: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (Great!) |
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